All I want for Christmas...

is a healthy, toothy, baby. Sigh.

Dreaded germs strike again. Last Wednesday, Zoe and I had a fabulous day at home together. She napped, she ate, she played, she laughed, I worked. Perfect. Wednesday night, not so good. Lots and lots of coughing kept waking her up. Some coughs were like barks. Thursday morning she was very icky and groggy - we both were - since she'd had a very wakeful coughing night, so we both stayed home again. Thursday was a bit less great. She was so restless; still eating well, but not so happy and not getting good naps. That evening her cough was horrible and constantly barking and high-pitched. I knew what it was and by Friday, we knew that we had to bring her in...again.

Good thing. Turns out it wasn't only croup, it was another ear infection (same ear). So they treated her for the croup in the office with an oral steroid and gave us an Rx for an even stronger antibiotic than last time. Another antibiotic. So much for trying to avoid the meds, but what do you do? She really was so far removed from herself that to let her rough it out seemed cruel. We didn't even discuss it really. There's actually a little piece of me that thinks that she's just never quite kicked the first real bug she caught in September.

So that, mixed with the glacially slow descent of her top front teeth, makes for a tired household. Oh, thus the posting drought :)

Life picked up for a bit this weekend, though. Dave stayed home to hang with Zoe while I hit the town with our friend, Becky, to make good of the holiday sales and take care of the end of the Xmas shopping list. I fared well, as did Zo and dad, for the most part. She wanted to be held quite a bit and slept a ton; she's still our generally great sleeper, but this was impressive: a four hour nap. This apparently did the trick to perk her up for our dinner with Becky and her husband, Tim, at our favorite Chinese restaurant. Zoe had a blast and chatted us up, plus she was all hands and arms - making good practice for her mom and dad. I guess it had been a while since we'd been out to eat with her...we could barely keep up and keep all of the interesting food and tableware out of her reach!

We thought we'd kind of rounded the corner, but as this week has worn on, she's developed a hideously evil diaper rash. Those antibiotics are tough on the gutt and tough on the bum, too. Poor baby. It's nearly brought me to tears to change her lately. Seriously. And yesterday, upon picking her up from daycare, we learned that Zoe earned herself a bath because she'd had a major diarrhea blow-out and had thrown up. I nearly crumbled right there. She seemed in great spirits and wasn't fussy or tired, but that her tummy was so upset was awful to hear. And to hear that the daycare had to deal with such a mess. They were great, though, very concerned with her and had obviously taken good care of her given her condition. It was a huge step for us though I think, to really feel what it is to let others care for your child and to trust them to do what's best. Had they called us, we may have come running when it had happened and then have been able to do nothing to change the situation. Mind you, kisses and hugs and snuggles were abundant when we got home, and I felt terrible about her day. But I can't go forward from here beating myself up for not being with her in every moment - good and bad. We do our best with the way it is and trust that in the end it will be the sum total of our love that Zoe knows and not the missing pieces.

I have only a couple of pix to post tonight. My sincere apologies - there just haven't been too many occasions lately that I wanted to capture on 'film'. I've been too absorbed in the joy when it's upon us because man, we need it!



Zoe advising dad on some fixes for mom's 'puter :)

She's on a roll

We've got a live one on our hands!

In addition to working on a fierce set of upper teeth, our little one has been on a big development kick lately, enhancing skills that she's been toying with for a while and trying new ones altogether.

Pull-ups on the kitchen stools have turned into pulling up to a stand almost wherever she is. Commando creeping has made way for some speedy hand- and knee-powered crawling. And she's no longer happily surprised by routine events but rather is now starting to anticipate more and more. For instance, our bedtime routine is nearly step-by-step each night, down to what I say as I finish her favorite book, Goodnight moon. When bear goes over my shoulder, I get a smile because it means I'm coming in for a snuggle. And when I approach the night light and say 'Good night moon' (because it is a moon), she smiles and holds close in anticipation of the light going off. The predictability is far from old, but rather an exciting way for us to sharpen learned knowledge and build up to reliably special moments. It's not that she hasn't previously exhibited reactions to routine behaviors - quite the contrary - but it's more that she's now picking up on the more subtle cues about what is about to happen more often, throughout the day. She's always been aware, but now she's more aware of what's next.

She anticipates the praise she normally gets after knocking over a tower of cups, or after turning off her bedroom light. When the baby tylenol comes out, she opens her mouth, seeming to know it's going to help (which it has a lot in the past week). She raises her foot when socks and shoes come out, knowing what we do with them. And, she gets *pissed* when the car comes to a stop ie, at a light or when one of us jumps out to run a quick errand but she isn't taken out of her seat (no, never leaving her unattended).

With all of this new cause and effect fun comes a bit of testing. We've done a bit of baby proofing and have a pretty well-designated baby zone, but it's not entirely free of hazards. I mean, what can you do about an unfasten-able floor heating vent? So, we get to say 'NO' whenever she touches it...again, and again, and again. In exchange, we typically get a terribly cute finger on the vent and side glance with a smile until successfully hide our smile and hit just the right tone and she's thrown into a fit of tears. Short-lived though they may be, they are still heartbreaking! I *hate* saying no! Sigh.

On a lighter note, here are some snapshots from some of her latest adventures:

Super Saturday

It certainly was. I mean, when you actually hear yourself say out loud "what a great day that was" you really have to stop and appreciate it.

I guess it actually started Friday evening when I took Zoe to the Dr's office for a follow up on her ear infection. Not only was the ear all clear, but the Dr. confirmed that Zoe is, in fact, in the middle of teething. In a big way. All four front uppers are coming in at once! (My efficient girl!) So, the fuss, the drool, the wishy-washy eating and sleeping have some root cause ;) Thank goodness. The Dr. also felt the urge to express what a bright little baby we have. As if we didn't already know! ;) but it's always SO nice to hear it from someone who 1) isn't prone to compliments and 2) doesn't have to say it in the first place.

So, Zoe and I went home in a great mood - really, she was too - almost as if she felt the 'fluff' from the good news at the Dr's! And she woke in an equally great mood Saturday morning. Isn't that nice? I mean, it just really sets the tone for the whole morning when your little one rises happy. Not that we don't have happy mornings when she gets up crying, but when she's so excited to see you and can't stop telling you about all her fascinating dreams and her toes and about that thing above her head that holds the wipes, the cheer is just contagious. So, a bit later, after her morning nap, Dave and I packed bug up in some cute winter wear and went off in search of our Xmas tree. The first and cheaper lot was a no-go, but Zoe could tell we were up to something interesting:


And the plot only seemed to thicken when we got to the second lot and located a great noble:


She was a bit tired when we got home, though and looked a little road worn, but oh so cute with her little 'hat head':


We tried her for a nap while we scrambled to get the tree up, but she knew that whatever was going on was *way* too good to miss out on. So, part way through the ornaments, Zoe came out to help me:



Oh? and did I mention that we got our first snow literally as we got the tree in the house? Big snow. HUGE flakes. All to greet the season, I guess.

You know, I always thought it was really corny when I'd hear people say how children and their smiles at all the joy and wonder are the heart of the holiday season and I'm not exactly saying that...yet. But I will say that Dave and Zoe and I had a great day together yesterday doing these traditional things as a family. It was the best time I've had trimming a tree in a very long time...

Gobble Gobble!

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving! I know what I'm thankful for: a great husband, a wonderful baby girl, a lovely home and health!

That last part is *now* easy to say since, well, Zoe and I aren't sick anymore. She's about done her antibiotics for her ear infection (which seems to be gone - yay!) and I stopped puking on Monday. Yep. I was hit with a nasty stomach bug that just about kicked my butt. Fever and everything. This, mind you, on top of Zoe's ear infection which was just starting to clear up, although its companion, fussiness, hadn't. Poor Dave had me out of commission and Zoe out of sorts all day Monday and most of Tuesday. The days are a blur, and it took until Thursday for me to be back to 100% - just in time for food! ;)

T-day was a nice, mellow affair. Read: relatively tiny :) All of Dave's fam were out in Florida, taking Disney and the rest of the attractions by storm, (hope a great time was had by all!); Greg, Amy, Nick and Tim stayed home to eat some Maine turkey (sorry we missed your call!), so it was just the three of us, my folks, my cousin Keith and Chris and Erin who rolled in for their second T-day meal of the day (talk about gobble gobble! ;).




Zoe had a fantastic time entertaining all of her fans, er guests, showing them how to tear down cup a good cup tower and how she can do chin-ups on the kitchen stools.


Sitting in on a speaker-phone call with Aunt Pauline & Uncle Skip


Showing Nana her favorite book - it has pictures of babies in it!


She's a busy gal. So busy that she apparently didn't have time for her afternoon nap. Oh well, what are the holidays for if not a party?

Dinner was yummy - Dave did another bang-up job on the turkey and other T-day vittles, of course and our guests' contributions helped make it a feast. It took a while for me to sit and eat, since bug and the turkey went down at the same time, but I made up for lost time....and continue to do so :)

After a wakeful evening (she was up again ~11, ~3 and then again ~7), mom & dad, Dave, me and Zoe all dressed and headed out to breakfast (who was going to cook?!) at our favorite local diner, Leena's. Good grub.



Back at home, Nana and Pepere obliged my plea to hang with Zoe so that Dave and I could get the much-needed fall clean-up done outside. Zoe proceeded to bore them during her three hour nap, but I was thrilled to get the yard into a less-depressing state.

Saturday was good for hanging and usual Saturday stuff before we headed over to our friend, Deb's house for a post T-day 'Tur-duck-en' (that's a de-boned chicken stuffed inside a de-boned duck stuffed inside a de-boned turkey!) It was a lovely evening. Especially since Zoe did her best to make Dave and I look like good parents. We heard lots of "she's such a good baby!" while secretly, actually, Dave and I thought she was kind of fussy! Heh. We know. We're running out of good baby karma. We'll be screwed with #2...

Today was good and mellow. Zoe had another wakeful evening - she's been TIRED and HUNGRY this weekend - did she know that's how holiday weekends are supposed to go? So somehow things worked out for us to all sleep in a little. After a bit of morning play, Zoe went down for a nap so I hit the yard to finish up with the piles (and piles) of leaves I'd raked in on Friday (overall, four *filled* green bins' worth) while Dave manned the monitor. It was a great finish to the long weekend. Zoe was in a great mood, exploring the kitchen and back 'extra' room.

Following in dad's footsteps?



She really gets around now and definitely wants to be both where the action is and where something's new. She actually calls out for Da or Ma before heading in our direction which is just awesome. We're continually getting peeks of little kid-ness this is both exciting and heartbreaking. So much fun.

Oh! and I almost forgot! Not only did Zoe power through her dinner - which included chicken again (she'd been boycotting the texture so we've been missing its extra staying power over the past few nights) - but she actually made the sign for 'more'. HOW AMAZING IS THAT??? She even clapped for herself (another new trick) each time I was hooting and hollering all through dinner, celebrating. The neighbors must have wondered what Dave put in the leftovers ;)

Little trooper

Daycare sucks. I mean, what a persistent little petri dish it is!

On Monday morning, Zoe finished a full round of antibiotics to fight an apparent sinus infection. She actually had a few days of normalcy - no snottiness, pretty good feeding, great sleeping and a really great disposition. Wednesday, she got her flu shot with really very little fallout.

Proof:

A bit of giddy exploration in the kitchen...


and in the toy box - drunk with the fun ;)


But, come Thursday morning, we went in to find Zoe had puked a bit in the nighttime...and didn't cry about it! Poor little thing! Poor gross little thing! She puked all over her little bear-blanket and sheet and pacifier. It was in her hair. We felt AWFUL that she spent the night that way. But she was absolutely forgiving. All smiles. Man.

So we brought her in to daycare - because nothing else seemed to be wrong with her - and heard from Chris, her caretaker, that a few other families had called in regarding their sick little ones. Sick with puking and diarrhea. Sigh. So, she said she'd call if anything went awry.

When we picked her up in the afternoon, she seemed her usual great but tired self. But by the time we got her home and playing before dinner, we knew she was sick again. Between the fuss and the fever, the poor kid couldn't enjoy anything. It was terrible because I was committed to going out with some girlfriends for dinner, leaving Dave to placate Zoe. It was a bit of a rough evening for them, but overnight she slept pretty well. However, she woke without her usual gusto. I honestly didn't want to leave for work, but had to. Thankfully Zoe was with Daddy today who kept a good watch on her. And her fever. When, after fitful naps and barely any eating, it spiked to 103.5 (103.8 later that night), and we decided it was time to call the doctor. Good thing because it turns out that it had nothing to do with her flu shot (which we worried about after talking the the lame@$$ nurse). It's an ear infection.

So what's amazing through all of this is that despite the bit of fuss she had on Thursday night, she has remained in a relatively great mood. Now, she only wants to sit in your lap, snuggle, nurse and snooze. All subdued and utter sweetness. The girl is usually fantastic, but she's an utter dream as a sick baby. How did we get so lucky?

What a difference a week makes!

I mean, we still of course have this adorable and lovely little baby girl. She's still all sweet and smiles. But now this girl is on track! She's sleeping through the night like she hasn't since the night before her four month check-up (yes, literally since THAT night). She's raring up to move - rocking on her knees instead of just rolling around the floor. Her little personality is really taking shape and finding new outlets. All that and her terrible little cough has finally started to subside since we caved and put her on antibiotics.

This has been a big week, otherwise. This weekend felt a little short because Friday evening was about prepping for our gal pal, Linda's, baby shower that we helped throw on Saturday. It was fantastic to see her all preggers and happy - yes glowing - and on the precipice parenthood. It was a lovely, but long, day. Sunday was all about catching up on preps for the busy week ahead. Tuesday, I left before dawn to head over to Quincy in central WA, to present at a conference my program had put together. After three hours of talking, I hit the road to get home again for dinner. I just didn't want to spend the night there! Today, we got up early so that I could return the rental car I'd used for my trip, and then dropped off Dave at work. This afternoon, Zoe and I took our kitty, Lucy, to the vet to get some attention to her persistent cough - yes, our kitty's been coughing horribly. So now Lucy and Zoe are *both* on antibiotics! Tomorrow, I'll be working late, presenting again, this time to folks at the Seattle Public School District and grabbing a bus home from downtown to Shoreline so that Dave can tend to bug without disrupting her evening routine.

I'm reading this back to myself now and realize that I sound like I'm saying 'poor me', however I guess what it's really all about is that I'd much prefer being a little tired and extended than to stay away from home - from Dave and Zoe - for more than I have to, or to disrupt the balance and rhythm that we work so hard to find. I won't say that there aren't moments when I miss how simple life was before we worried about a 7pm bedtime or whether our baby eats a good dinner, but those "complications" become nothing, totally vanish, when I walk in the door and see that little girl smile. Her appreciation of me, of my simply being there, is all it takes to make me grow humble. I'm honored to be of service :)

Happy Halloween

I absolutely love this time of the year. What's not to love about crisp air, brightly colored leaves and little kids and adults in costumes everywhere? It's kind of funny, because I'm really not the playful type, but there's something about the excusable excuse of Halloween that makes it alright and fun to me.

So, bug got to wear her first costume this year: she was a lady bug! And a very cute one, at that:



She certainly didn't seem to mind her outfit, either - at least it didn't stop her from moving about and being a goof.




Today being Wednesday, I was due to work from home, but since 1) we *had* to get Zoe out and about to show off her costume and 2) it's been too long since folks at work had seen her, I decided to take her to my office Halloween lunch in the U-district.

I dare say she was the hit of the party! The crowd definitely appreciated our coming and we heard lots of compliments about her sunny disposition.

However, this Zoe is a bit like her mom perhaps, because she certainly certainly took her "kiddo hangin' with the adults" job seriously ;)